Happy 4th of July, from your patriotic bloggers at RedIvy!

p.s.- If you haven’t already, check out the pimped out 4th of July Drudge Report. The color scheme is really cute.

“Not My Boo”.

That’s the typically succinct witticism, a pop culture meme woven by the needle of Democratic operative Donna Brazile, that Internet hero Matt Drudge evoked to capture the feel of Greta Van Susteren’s latest blog entry.

Before you have a stress-induced seizure: yes, Greta van Susteren- queen of ultra-sexy missing teenage women- has a blog.

But more important than the shock of finding out that such a sinister opportunist has infiltrated our glorious home- the blogosphere- is the mere nerve that this woman has to rant against her competitors in the way that she has today against the producers of Anderson Cooper 360º. Greta asserts that her program, that regularly makes the #1 spot in ratings for the 10 PM hour, is a respectable news source and that a producer that (accurately) called her program “missing-person-of-the-day” was out of line and acting out of pure envy.

In most cases I would never take the Communist News Network’s side on any debate, and I can assert with a certain respectable degree of honesty that I try to keep up with Shepard Smith, Bill O’Reilly, and Sean Hannity (the latter being much more difficult than the rest in the Obama household I currently inhabit). Yet in Van Susteren’s daily onslaught of MSM terrorism I can extract only the vilest manifestations of fear-mongering, exploitation of family grief, news fabrication and, ultimately every single ingredient necessary in the most revolting recipe of trash news.

Greta asserts her program is more than missing-person-of-the-day and ridicules Anderson Cooper for having money (gasp! a wealthy Vanderbilt!) and, even more damning yet, a sense of humor! How dare a newscaster have a sense of humor?! Comedy is Stephen Colbert’s job- real journalists broadcast all tragedy, all the time. And Greta does tragedy well- the top headlines on her website today range from “Uncle to be Charged with Kidnapping in Girl’s Death” to “Missing Vt. Girl Dead” to “Pregnant GI’s Mystery Death“. Greta is right, her program isn’t “missing-person-of-the-day”. Greta doesn’t rank the missing beauties like that: there are at least three on each episode.

As for the other part of the Cooper producer’s assertion, that there is an audience for that kind of tripe, well, there is: our parents. This ambulance chaser makes her money off of the cheap fears of middle-aged parents with children far beyond the controlling glimpse of their eye, who underestimate our ability to not go home alone with sketchy sexual predators and be chopped up to pieces after being brutally raped with a machete. Oh, and of course, the other half of her audience: fugitive pedophiles making sure their countenances aren’t the product of national syndication.

Fox News is a veritable news source replete with unique information and worthwhile commentators. Van Susteren is not one of them, and it’s nice to have our pleasant 4th of July sprinkled with a dash of schadenfreude at watching her ridicule herself even more than any one of her enemies could.

Liz Sidoti tells the story well:http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080619/ap_on_el_pr/obama_money_analysis

If there were any Democrats left who aren’t caught up in the rapture of the Barackalypse, they’d realize what a blow Obama’s decision to opt out of public financing is to all they’ve tried to do to undermine Republican electoral strategy. This is probably the decision with the most negative long-term consequences for the Democratic Party that the Obama campaign has made thus far. Democrats are seriously going to abandon a system they’ve defended for eons just because they have one candidate who’s a money-raising machine? Good luck getting any Republican to even consider public financing in a future election when anti-Bush derangement syndrome isn’t on the Democrats’ side, much less having the press to come to the rescue.

Besides the negative effects the Democratic Party (which, I have to admit, do fill me with glee), the justifications Obama has offered for his choice are mind-bogglingly terrible. Usually his campaign at least finds some way to bring its message back to “Bush sucks;” this time, they offer the following:

1) John McCain has an unfair advantage with special interest groups!

FALSE: http://www.cfinst.org/pr/prRelease.aspx?ReleaseID=167

http://www.opensecrets.org/527s/527cmtes.php (note: 4 of the largest 5 527s - SEIU, America Votes, the Fund for America, and EMILY’S LIST - are liberal)

2) John McCain has an unfair advantage because he gets support from the RNC!

Seriously? A party shouldn’t be able to spend on behalf of its candidates? Tell that to any number of Democratic Congressmen in the upcoming 2008 and see if they think that’s a good idea.

3) We’re abandoning the broken public financing system!

…that was totally fine back in 2004!

I guess I was expecting better arguments from the Obama campaign, but it’s pretty much transparently clear at this point that breaking his promise was done purely in self-interest. So much for hope and change!

The death of one brilliant political career may just coincide with the birth of another (no offense to the great Tim Russert).

Arkansas governor and acclaimed Carlos Norris minion Mike Huckabee of Presidential Circus fame has just been hired by a flailing Fox News, which has been in a panic since disgraced sportscaster Keith Olbermann overtook their flagship program “The O’Reilly Factor” this past week. Olbermann, who has built a career out of childish attention-grabbing and character defamation (albeit humorous character defamation), and who gained respect from an audience desperate for someone fresh who knew he was human and didn’t take the wacky world of politics too serious, has of course now shed that image of humble snark and replaced it with a bloviating self-appointed media god with an ego the size of the average Crimson editorialist. With our only hopes in the mainstream cable news media world, Olbermann and libertarian hero Tucker Carlson, lost in the current of ratings and power shifts- both casualties of Olbermann’s hubris (that’s not change that I can believe in)- it is nice to hear the news that someone with his feet on the ground will be rewarded for his clear perception of politics.

It is unclear what Huckabee’s capacity on the network will be as of this moment, or if Chuck Norris will be there to guide his commentary step by step. However, we are promised at least the wit of a down-to-earth politician with a gift for oratory and humor unparalleled in the current pool of presidential wannabes. Someone that understands that politics is a game- that power on this earth is, essentially, a joke- and that has no shame in admitting that what people like Hillary Clinton and Wolf Blitzer consider life-or-death is simply America’s national sport: a fun circus game put on to give educated elites something to laugh about and make otherwise unemployed “reporters” feel better about their miserable lives.

Tim Russert, moderator of NBC’s ‘Meet the Press’ and renowned journalist passed away this afternoon after collapsing in his office from an apparent heart attack in Washington. He was 58.

Known for asking the tough questions, Russert became a staple of American politics. His love and passion for politics were very evident in the breadth and depth of his research, in his always yearning to know more, and through the long hours he put in so that Americans could know everything they would want to know of their political figures. Russert was a family man, sharing a very special bond with his father and beaming at the mention of his son. While not known for his prowess in sports, Russert was a huge sports fan, holding season tickets to the DC Nationals’ games. He was also a devout religious man, following his faith in every aspect of his life. A large part of the NBC family and the Washington political scene, Tim Russert’s legacy will live on through those that knew him and had the honor of working with one who is certain to be remembered as one of the greatest journalists of our time.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Russert family and all those who knew him. He will be sorely missed.

Now that the whole drama of the Democratic nomination is for the most part over, I have begun to reflect on the successes and errors of both the Obama and Clinton campaigns. To focus on Clinton, her campaign suffered from two major errors:

• They didn’t have a plan for post-Super Tuesday primaries
• They didn’t contest caucus states

At first I was thinking to myself, why didn’t she contest these states? It would seem like a stupid thing not to do so, especially since all the early momentum Obama got were from these very same caucus states. But upon deeper thought I asked another question - could she have won those states? If the answer is no, then trying to contest these contests would be a bad way to spend depleting resources.

I believe the answer to be no - Hillary Clinton could not win caucus states. This is not only a problem for the New York senator, but is also an issue that may prove disastrous to other candidates in the future, from either party, as I these caucus states tend to attract a very particular base of people.

Caucuses tend to attract better educated, white collar workers, who can take time away from their schedules to attend a caucus event that could last hours. Blue collar workers and the less educated don’t usually have the opportunity to find the time for such events. College students are a staple of caucuses, especially helpful to Obama in the primaries. The most fair and equal caucus, the one in Nevada in which hotel workers were allowed to participate in during their work hours resulted in a Clinton victory. Had they not voted, I’m sure the result would have been different.

Caucuses tend to offer an advantage to a certain kind of canidate, perhaps unfairly. This would be something to consider in plans to change the primary system.

It’s Official: Internet-speak has become universal. Check out this headline in the New York Post today.

Also, I won’t get too much into this at the moment, but Internet superhero Matt Drudge is reporting that John McCain wants to have ten debates with Barack Obama. TEN! Hopefully McCain campaign strategists have been watching McCain’s and Obama’s speeches back-to-back today and realize that even one debate will be political suicide for the old man. And one last tip for the McCain gang: Put young, excited, exuberant people behind McCain while he’s speaking. Last night there were thousands of young people of all backgrounds sobbing hysterically behind Obama as he spoke, while McCain was backed by a blasé greenscreen and Obama’s campaign slogan. Nice job, GOP. Looks like you’ve got this one in the bag.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper turns 41 today! Happy Birthday Anderson!

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WHAT HAPPENED(?)

…. Pauly Shore. I swear I’m not making this up: he’s talking to Dan Abrams right now about the Sex and the City movie. This guy. On my TV. Giving political commentary.

As much as I love MSNBC (I will always be loyal to my first political love, the sexy Tucker Carlson), this is the most painful snippet of cable news TV I’ve seen since that one time Alan Colmes tried to have a real leftist opinion and Hannity crushed him like the asthma-carrying cockroach he is.

I had forgotten exactly how not funny Pauly Shore is. Or maybe I never really knew; Shore is such a sad punchline in and of himself that I knew of his comic notoriety before actually witnessing it in action. Seeing him trying to put a joke together in midair, claiming that White House ex-Press Secretary and treacherous fiend Scott McClellan was having an affair with Monica Lewinsky, is a little more than any viewer should have to withstand, and yet here I am, sitting and watching. His jokes are not so much jokes as they are pieces of political pop culture awkward strung together in an attempt to be snarky falling perilously flat.

I’m not going to rant too much on this, but I just needed to point this out, and I need to demand, on behalf of the American people: MSNBC, please stop. Stop this madness. Stop Pauly Shore. Now.